Just Let Me Cry

Just let me cry, written by Hilary Weeks

(picture taken at Time Out For Women)

Sundays are always the worse day for my grief. When the grief hits, it just trickles into the week. Sunday was one of those days. As you know, Evan passed away on a Sunday...I remember how cute he looked in his white shirt and tie and bare feet.....his shoes always came off because every shoe was always too narrow for him....so off with the shoes!! I remember thinking how dang cute he was and how much I loved those feet! Each Sunday I am reminded of the emptiness on the pew....no more bare feet, no more tagging Daddy along by the shirt tail counting the members of the congregation (that's Jim's job). No more smiling faces from members who thought Evan was the cutest thing.....I knew he was...I loved him...I loved taking him to church...he loved everything about church....helping Daddy, eating snacks, running in the hall, nursery (oh, how he loved the parachute!), playing with members sitting behind us...Sundays are so dang hard now!

My brother, our new Bishop, gave a very inspiring lesson on searching the scriptures for answers....he also mentioned that he had only been Bishop for 7 months.....which triggered in me "7 months without Evan," they share the same anniversary. I thought how in one moment 7 months can feel so short in regards of a postion, but feel like an eternity with a loss of a loved one.

Sundays are so hard.

Then Monday came. We went to talk with our mortuary about Evan's permanent marker....I knew this was going to be difficult. Of course, I start crying during the process.....

That night was hard.....more tears until I was so tired, I just collasped to sleep.



Just Let Me Cry is a song written by Hilary Weeks. It has brought me comfort as well as many tears. What I love about this song is that it speaks to me...this is how I feel.

These are the Lyrics:

I believe that everything happens for a reason
We're not just tossed by the wind or left in the hands of fate
But sometimes life sends a storm that's unexpected and we're
forced to face our deepest pain



When I feel the heartache begin to pull me under
I dig my heels in deep and I fight to keep my ground
Still at times the hurt inside grows stronger
And there's nothing I can do but let it out

Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry

When I agreed that God could put this heart
inside me
I understood that there would be a chance that it
would break
But I know He knows exactly how I'm feeling
And I know in time He'll take the pain away
But for now

Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry

I have felt joy the kind that makes my hear
want to sing
And so my tears are not a surrender
I'll feel that way again
But for now
For this moment

Just let me cry
I know it's hard to see
But the pain I feel
Isn't going away today
Just let me cry
Till every tear has fallen
Don't ask when and don't ask why
Just let me cry

I believe that everything happens for
a reason